I decided, to the amazement of myself, that I am going to suck it up and go back to school. It's official. I emailed my director today and let him know. I guess there is no going back now. Every time I think about it, I feel sick and tear up. It is going to be so hard, at least at first. I think it is the best option though - I really do. If I thought there was a way I could stay home with Lydia and still have a life and career of my own that I would be happy with, I would. But dentistry is the only thing I have wanted to do since I can remember... Now I want to do dentistry and be a mom. If I can suck it up for one year, I can have them both. And I suppose, if I go back and decide I just can't take it and I don't want to do dentistry anymore, I can leave and be with my lovely baby again. I'm really hoping I am able to be strong and finish what I started.
DH asked me today if I wanted to take Bean for a walk. It was really sweet of him. All 3 of us froze our bottoms off, but it was really nice family time. I guess he is really going to try to stick to our agreement of one fun thing per week in exchange for me not shopping. I think I will have a really hard time this coming week - what am I going to do all week if I can't go shopping?!?!
Here are some pics from Lydia's 11th week of life:
Great-Grandpa Hanenburg trying to get Lydia to suck her thumb :)
Oh yeah, and I almost forgot to mention, my very first mother's day as a mom is this weekend and I'm so excited!!! :)
That's very sweet of him, he is holding up his end of the bargain! As for the school thing, it will be hard but I think you're doing the best thing you could do. You've worked so hard to get there and I'm sure if Lydia could speak, she would want you to do the same!
ReplyDeleteBrie, I'm so proud of you! I can't imagine how hard of a decision this must have been for you. I just think back to when we were sitting in Entomology and you were stressing over your DAT!! Even if you go back to school and a week later realize it's not the choice for you--you're at least giving it a shot! And once all of your adorable babies-to-be are out of the house during the day, you will likely be thankful that you get to get out of the house during the day too! Once Lydia is old enough to have dreams of her own, will be very proud of you for continuing to pursue yours.
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