Making Waves - What's New?

I didn't want to post this before I talked to DH, but I told DH last night. It took me about 10 minutes to actually get it out and I made him promise he wouldn't laugh or roll his eyes at me. When I told him, he said "I saw that coming." I was relieved that DH wasn't all that surprised and he reacted with support rather than "woman, you're ridiculous." Needless to say, it wasn't the reaction I was expecting. I probably will not be as lucky with the reactions from everyone else. But again, this blog leaves no secrets on the table. And if it did, I wouldn't be staying true to what I intended for it. So, since that intro was probably drawn out enough...Here's the new development that will most certainly make a few waves: I want another baby. *Insert break for your reaction* I am not saying I want to get pregnant again right now. I don't think we are ready for that. I want a plan set in place to get a house before we have another baby. Besides, we don't have enough room for another baby at our current location. With that said, I think I would like to be pregnant again within the year. Shocker, I know.

I thought I knew myself. I am beginning to realize, it is just pointless for me to even attempt to try to plan my life - to plan my next move. Because the second I think I have it all figured out, things completely change. The most surprising part about it is it isn't the things around me that are causing things to change, it is me. It is a very strange thing to think I know myself and then pull a complete 180 for no apparent reason. I think I am beginning to realize God has bigger plans for my life than I ever have. He has plans that are better than the plans I have made and I need to follow these changes of heart instead of fighting them. Just because they weren't part of MY plan, doesn't mean that I am giving up. I just never thought it would be in the cards for me to want to stay home and be a mom. Let alone to stay home and be a mom and want another baby so soon. I think it is about time I let go of trying to control my life so much and take the time to listen to God's plans.

I got the email from my program director that I have been waiting for. The policy regarding a "leave of absence" is it usually lasts no longer than a year. In order to come back, I would need to meet with several people in order to assess where my skill level is at and how much information I have retained. Also, I would possibly need to do some additional training in order to get back to where I need to be. After knowing all that, I don't think it would make any sense for me to take the additional 6 months off. If I am going to go back I would go back now. I can honestly say, I don't see myself going back, but there are still some things that need to happen before I make that decision for sure.

As for Bean, I forgot to mention in my last post that she sucked her thumb for the first time on Sunday while we were at grandma's house! I couldn't believe it! It was so darn cute, I almost cried. What wasn't so cute... she was up every two hours last night wanting to eat or just fussing. It made for one tired mama today. She must be going through another growth spurt. Luckily there is Caribou to keep tired mamas awake :)

Ok, end of waves for today...