Workin' Mama

And it's exhausting! I'm drained. And the weekend seems to be about 2 days too short! I have to give major props to working moms. Some moms really can do it all. I'm convinced I am not one of those moms. A full day of work plus an hour drive each way is about all the productivity I have in me for one day. When I get home I am beat. I don't have energy to make dinner, clean the house or help take care of Lydia. I do my best to push through the exhaustion and contribute as much as possible. I make dinner probably at least 50% of the time. But I feel like a total dud sometimes! Some nights I don't even have the energy to shower. And then I dread having to get up at 6:00am the next day, only to repeat it all. I feel lame.

On that note, I'm very grateful to have a full time job to help pay for our expenses, but man do I dislike what I do. I'm not used to mind-numbing work. Especially 8 hours a day of it. Just thinking about it is making me dread tomorrow. I don't know if I have ever been more bored before in my life. It's a job and it pays, but beyond that, I can't wait for it to be over!

I was able to dentistry for the first time since getting my license last weekend at Mission of Mercy. I volunteered Friday 10:30-5:00 and Saturday 5:00am-5:00pm. I loved every minute of it! I gave anesthesia (injections) on Friday and Saturday morning and was able to volunteer in the pediatric clinic in the afternoon doing fillings and extractions. It reminded me why I chose dentistry. It also reminded me how disappointed I am that I have not found a dental position yet. It brings back a lot of frustration, but at the same time, it makes me hopeful for the future that I will really love what I do. I am yet again learning a lesson in patience.

In other news, miss Lydia is doing much better with drop-off time at daycare. I have been dropping her off a little later so that I can drop her off in her room instead of another room before her teacher gets there. That has helped Lydia feel more secure when I drop her off, I think. She is also sick again. Sigh. Not good. She has had a runny nose, cough and fever for the past couple of days. DH stayed home with her yesterday and I stayed home with her today. Poor thing. It would be nice to not have to put her in a daycare with a ton of other snotty kids, but it seems to be the best option for us right now. When Lydia gets sick, of course the rest of us do too. I'm hoping it passes soon and this isn't going to be a trend through the winter.

In pregnancy news, I am now 4 months (16 weeks pregnant)! Yay! I made it to the second trimester! Here's how I'm feeling:

- My morning sickness is slowly fading, with some days being better than others. I am trying to wean off my Zofran (anti-nausea meds).
- I am definitely showing. My pants started to not button at week 15. I got a couple pairs of maternity work pants at Goodwill for $7 (for both). One pair is Gap Maternity, and the other Liz Lang.
- I've gained 2 pounds since my last appointment. That puts me at a net gain of +2 since becoming pregnant (-5 lbs in the first 8 weeks, +5 pounds week 8-12, +2 lbs week 12-16). Not sure what my Ob is going to say about that, since she said I gained too much last appointment... I disagree with her. If she says I gained too much this time too, I might just switch providers. Is that unreasonable?
- I'm very very tired! By 2:00pm I am about ready to curl up and take a nap. Sometimes I wonder how I am going to stay awake through the hour long drive home. I also frequently feel the need to go to bed before 9:30. Very tired.
- I have to snack all day to keep my stomach from growling at me. Every couple of hours, at least. I try to pack plenty of health snacks to bring with me to work (apple, nectarine, yogurt, etc). I've also been getting a coffee almost every day thanks to my wonderful friends and family who showered me with coffee shop gift cards!
- The Little Bug is quite the mover in there. I started feeling flutters at about 14 weeks and feel some jabs usually at some point throughout the day.

I think that pretty much sums up everything that has been going on in our lives. DH is in Ohio for the next couple days on business, so it is just me and Bean :) Hopefully everything goes smoothly on our own.

Our Life Lately

I am now a week and a half into my new job. The first week went pretty well, minus throwing up Monday. This week has been rough. Lydia was sick Sunday and Monday with a fever. It took a whole 5 days after starting daycare to get sick. That's fast. I hope it isn't a sign of things to come. I hate it when she is sick - I feel so bad for her. Yesterday I was feeling absolutely terrible. I wasn't sure I was going to make it through the work day. I toughed it out, but I wasn't nearly as productive as I normally am. Today, I felt horrible pretty much from the moment I woke up. I tried my best to suck it up and make it to work. I was about 5 minutes away from work when I had to turn around and head back home. I felt like I was going to have to pull over any minute to throw up. I came home and got back in bed (after my 2.5 hour commute). I slept for 7 hours. I woke up at 5:00, had some soup and goldfish and laid on the couch. I still don't feel all that great. My stomach and my lower back hurts. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm hoping it is gone by tomorrow and I can get back to functioning.

This pregnancy has been less than enjoyable so far. I know I have written that (a lot) already, but it is really frustrating for me. I really wanted to enjoy this pregnancy and continue to eat right and exercise. I haven't been able to do either so far. I enter the second trimester on Monday and I am really hoping the honeymoon stage starts.

In the mean time, I am going to try to distract myself with the Olympics! Sorry for all the complaining :-\

First Day

I started my new job today as a "clerical assistant." Basically, I am transferring information from paper optical charts to digital charting. The went smooth and I think I pretty much have the hang of things.

In other news today, I've felt terrible since eating dinner...Then I puked my brains out for a while (there goes my dinner). Miserable. I felt better for a little while - now I'm sucking on Starburst and Jolly Ranchers to try to settle my stomach. I hope I feel better tomorrow :(

Appointment #2 - Hear the Heartbeat!

DH, Lydia and I just got back from our second pre-natal visit. Here is what we found out:

1. I gained 5 pounds since the last visit. Hmmm... Not exactly what I wanted to happen. And I am quickly remembering the frustration I felt the first time around. It seems like everything I eat just sticks to me. I eat frequently but they are small meals. I think the problem comes with the carbs. But they are the only thing that really sound good. Chicken doesn't sound that great. Neither do vegetables. They are great in soup though! Yuuummmm! Fruit sits well with me too. But fruit is basically all carbs/sugar (+ good nutrients). Then there is the exercise dilemma. I have been feeling way too awful to even consider exercising. But I am starting to feel better, so I need to start adding that into my daily routine again. Oh pregnancy.

2. One of the vials of blood they took at the last appointment broke. Which meant they needed to take blood again at this appointment. Not. Good. News. I got over it though. It wasn't toooo bad :)

3. I am not anemic (yet) this pregnancy. My hemoglobin levels were at 13.7. Anything above 11 is good. Yay!

4. The baby's heart rate was 172 bpm. I guess this is pretty high, but still normal. Lydia was 166 bpm at the 12 week appointment. Maybe means another girl? (I kinda hope so)

And that's about it for that appointment. Only 1 more appointment before we find out the sex of the baby!!! *Still 2 months away though :(

In other news...I have been stressing so much about our current financial situation. If you know me, this is very strange. I don't stress about much. And I don't know that I have ever stressed like this about money. We didn't realize how much we relied on living expenses from my student loans to make ends meet around here. Our eyes were quickly opened once that money wasn't coming in anymore. It took about 2 months for the "Oh crap!" mode to set in. Luckily, I will be starting a new job on Monday. It isn't in dentistry (and pays nowhere near what dentistry would pay), but it is a job. I will be transferring medical/optical information from paper charts to digital charts at an eye place. It is a full time/temporary position that goes through the fall. Pretty good timing. It would be best if it went to the end of the year, but beggars can't be choosers :) This should really help with the financial stressing and hopefully be enough that we are financially comfortable again. And ideally, fingers crossed, once the first of the year hits dental clinics will be ready to hire. Oh goodness, I hope this is true!

Lydia is going back to the daycare she was at previously - which we love! They are more expensive ($850/month) than another in-home daycare we visited, but I know she will be safe and enjoy her time there. And that, to me, is worth the extra $300/month.

Any finally (I was thinking this was going to be a quick post), Here are the pictures of the dresser we are working on for the baby room. I couldn't find a before picture of it before we started working on it, so this is our during picture with the top sanded and the drawers stripped...

And just for fun, Lydia picking flowers at Papa's softball game :)

This Ick Wants to Stick

I am 10.5 weeks along now. I was hoping by 10 weeks I'd start feeling pretty good. Maybe I'm jumping the gun a little bit. On Sunday I thought I was on the upswing. I was feeling like I had some more energy and the nausea seemed to be settling. Even the emotions seemed to be settling down a little bit. My anti-nausea meds had run out and I was hoping I could save $20 and not get it refilled. I was wrong. Very very wrong. I was so incredibly nauseous and miserable all day Monday. Needless to say, I had DH grab my refill for my anti-nausea meds. I felt much better yesterday but I was feeling quite emotional and overwhelmed. This pregnancy has been quite the roller-coaster so far. In my opinion, I'm not handling it very well. I'm having a hard time with it. Maybe it is because I have a toddler to take care of and not just myself. Or maybe because I am at home without all day - which allows me to focus on how crummy I feel. Or maybe it is just the way the hormones are taking their course this pregnancy.

Whatever the case is, I am hoping to be feeling back to myself in the next couple weeks. Mentally and physically.

In other news, I decided I wanted to do white furniture for the baby room this time around. I love the chic, clean look of white. I have been searching Craigslist for some affordable furniture and I stumbled upon a great dresser! For free! It isn't white, yet. We have already started sanding and taking the hardware off. Getting in all the nooks and crannies to get it ready to paint is going to be a challenge, but I am really excited for the final result! I wish I would have saved the before picture from Craislist to post on here. I will have to go outside and take a picture as it is now. Stay tuned :)

Emotions Running High

I'm not a very emotional person. I never really have been. I'm not saying it is a good or a bad thing, it's just how I am. I have been since I can remember. When I do feel emotional, I have a hard time knowing what to do with it. This pregnancy so far has caused me to be overly emotional about nothing at all. It is weird for me! I don't know what to do with myself. I was walking around Target and suddenly feeling myself wanting to cry. WHAT??? It doesn't make any sense. The weirdest part about it is I can't find anything to be emotional about. I hate it.

I just really want to feel like a normal person again. If it is anything like last time, by 12 weeks I should be feeling more normal. That's 4 more weeks. Oh boy. Day by day, I suppose.

First Appearance!

Our first appointment wasn't supposed to be until next Wednesday. Unfortunately, I couldn't stand the nausea/all day crappy feeling any longer! I threw up 6x on Tuesday and finally had enough. I called and rescheduled our first appointment for this Wednesday! That puts us at 7 weeks 2 days. They always do an ultrasound at the first appointment, so we got to see our Little Bug sooner than we anticipated! And they gave me drugs for my nausea - Praise the Lord! The NP prescribed me Zofran and so far it has helped :) I still don't feel 100%, but I am definitely functioning better than I was before. Hopefully Ms. Lydia and I can start venturing outside the house without me feeling like death. Being stuck in the house, feeling crappy all day every day has really taken an emotional toll on me. I'm not a homebody at all. It is really hard for me to stay in the house all day. I think it is hard for Lydia too. I think she gets pretty bored. I am praying things continue to get better and I start feeling great come 12 weeks.

Anyways, without further delay... Little Bug's first appearance!

We are measuring 7w 1d and 4.4 cm. The heartbeat (which we got to see!) was 140 bpm. They said everything was looking good in there!