Shop No More

Well, garage sale season seemed to have been short lived for this shopaholic :( DH and I had a "talk" about my shopping habits. He basically said that if we want to move forward (i.e. save for a house, get out of debt, etc...) I am going to NEED to stop shopping. Well, not necessarily stop shopping, but stop spending. That basically means stop shopping. I am a sucker for a good deal - no doubt about that. I understand where DH is coming from, but don't think I am going to give up shopping without something from him in return! I made him promise that if I give up shopping, he will do something fun with me at least once per week. Fair trade? I think so.

If you are sick of hearing about my turmoil over whether or not to go back to school, go ahead and skip this paragraph... For those of you that like to share in my torture, read on. I woke up today thinking the best decision for me and my family might be to go back to school. As hard as it is for me to think about, I think it is what I need to do. It isn't even about the money or the prestige (if there is any?). It is about having something of my own that I am passionate about. It is about building my own future along with building my family. I have always been one to want it all and even though I love my little girl soooo very much, I think I need to suck it up and leave her during the day while I finish my education. I know it won't be easy, but I need to at least try to finish. My mind might change again tomorrow. Stay tuned.

My next post will be all my shopping finds the last few days. I am just too pooped to upload all the pictures right now.

Maybe Not?

Apparently my last blog didn't make as many waves as I thought it would...I only got one comment? I was expecting a lot of, "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???" and "ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!" Guess not :)

Anyways...I wish I could say I was one step closer to having a decision about whether or not I am going back to school. Sadly, I am not. The thing is, the logical part of me says I need to go back and finish what I started. Make sure I have my education done so that I am set up to get a job. That is the logical part of me. Unfortunately logic doesn't always prevail when the heart says something else. And of course, my heart is telling me to stay home and enjoy every day with my beautiful bundle of joy. I know this may not make any sense to some people (and to be honest, it has taken me by surprise too), but I just feel as though I would rather regret not going back to school to finish my education than regret not staying home with my daughter. The ultimate solution would be to not regret my decision at all. I am just not so sure that will happen.

Well, the start of garage sale season is officially here - although it doesn't exactly feel like it in MN. I went to a garage sale last night and got a Louis Vuitton handbag for $20! I can't believe how much of a steal it was! I am really pumped about it, obviously! The funny thing about it right now is I hardly ever bring a purse with me anymore because it is too hard to carry a purse AND the diaper bag. Cute.... I went to the Just Between Friends sale in Elk River this afternoon. I got some great shoes for Bean (just what she needs, right?)! I got 2 pairs of Robeez ($4.00 each - Retail $28.00), a pair of NB Crocs ($2.00), some baby spoons and a Boon baby food dispensing spoon ($1.00 - retail $8.00), and some travel snack containers. All in all, I thought I did pretty good. There wasn't nearly as much stuff at this sale as there was at the sale in Maple Grove last season, and frankly, the prices were a little high. There wasn't much I needed though, so I wasn't too disappointed. Then we went to another garage sale this evening and I picked up a pair of Baby Gap shorts, Baby Gap shoes, a Baby Gap one-piece outfit and an Aero sweatshirt (for me) - all for $7.00. I'd say it was a pretty successful couple of sales. I have a few more sales saved on my email that I am contemplating going to tomorrow, since it will be so nice outside. Then again, I am guessing DH would appreciate it if I stopped shopping.


Bean in her Bumbo:

Making Waves - What's New?

I didn't want to post this before I talked to DH, but I told DH last night. It took me about 10 minutes to actually get it out and I made him promise he wouldn't laugh or roll his eyes at me. When I told him, he said "I saw that coming." I was relieved that DH wasn't all that surprised and he reacted with support rather than "woman, you're ridiculous." Needless to say, it wasn't the reaction I was expecting. I probably will not be as lucky with the reactions from everyone else. But again, this blog leaves no secrets on the table. And if it did, I wouldn't be staying true to what I intended for it. So, since that intro was probably drawn out enough...Here's the new development that will most certainly make a few waves: I want another baby. *Insert break for your reaction* I am not saying I want to get pregnant again right now. I don't think we are ready for that. I want a plan set in place to get a house before we have another baby. Besides, we don't have enough room for another baby at our current location. With that said, I think I would like to be pregnant again within the year. Shocker, I know.

I thought I knew myself. I am beginning to realize, it is just pointless for me to even attempt to try to plan my life - to plan my next move. Because the second I think I have it all figured out, things completely change. The most surprising part about it is it isn't the things around me that are causing things to change, it is me. It is a very strange thing to think I know myself and then pull a complete 180 for no apparent reason. I think I am beginning to realize God has bigger plans for my life than I ever have. He has plans that are better than the plans I have made and I need to follow these changes of heart instead of fighting them. Just because they weren't part of MY plan, doesn't mean that I am giving up. I just never thought it would be in the cards for me to want to stay home and be a mom. Let alone to stay home and be a mom and want another baby so soon. I think it is about time I let go of trying to control my life so much and take the time to listen to God's plans.

I got the email from my program director that I have been waiting for. The policy regarding a "leave of absence" is it usually lasts no longer than a year. In order to come back, I would need to meet with several people in order to assess where my skill level is at and how much information I have retained. Also, I would possibly need to do some additional training in order to get back to where I need to be. After knowing all that, I don't think it would make any sense for me to take the additional 6 months off. If I am going to go back I would go back now. I can honestly say, I don't see myself going back, but there are still some things that need to happen before I make that decision for sure.

As for Bean, I forgot to mention in my last post that she sucked her thumb for the first time on Sunday while we were at grandma's house! I couldn't believe it! It was so darn cute, I almost cried. What wasn't so cute... she was up every two hours last night wanting to eat or just fussing. It made for one tired mama today. She must be going through another growth spurt. Luckily there is Caribou to keep tired mamas awake :)

Ok, end of waves for today...

It's Official

I cannot LEAVE her! I can't...I just can't do it. How could I leave the best thing I have ever done for the first year of her life??? How?!?! But still, I can't decide. At this point, I am thinking if I get the stay-at-home job I will definitely take it. If I don't get the job, I don't know what I will do. I can't just stay home and not make any money. I have waaaayyyyy too many school loans to pay off, and I do waaaaaaaayyyy too much shopping when I am home to not be bringing in some money. I have my Mary Kay business, but I am just not excited about it anymore. I don't mind selling it to those who want it, but I'm not a sales-woman. I don't want to try to convince people to buy something they don't think they need. And let's be honest, it isn't the cheapest stuff ever. It's wonderful, but still not cheap. I just can't see myself making enough money doing MK. So then what do I do? If I don't get the job, do I go back to school? Do I leave my precious little bean to finish the schooling that I started? Then go to work part time in dentistry? Ugh. There's nothing like trying to make a major life decision. Not to worry though... I have a whole 3 weeks to decide. Sigh. So really, noting is official yet.

Easter weekend was wonderful. It was really busy though. Friday night we went bowling for my SIL's 13th birthday. Bean was passes around like we were playing hot potato. She did really really well, considering. When we got back to the in-laws, Bean projectile vomited. She only does it at at grandma and grandpa's house. It is the strangest thing. Saturday, I had a friend's bachelorette party/BBQ. It was really fun, but there were a lot of people there, which always takes the energy right out of me. Lydia's first Easter started out with church with DH's family. Then we went to my parent's house for brunch. After we chatted with them and my brother and SIL for a while, we went North to spend some time with DH's extended family. After that (yes, there's more), we stopped at DH's best friend's place so his mom and sister could meet the baby and we could say goodbye before he left for Montana. We finally made it back home around 10:00pm.Ufta. It was a loooong day but Bean did so well and looked so cute in her Easter outfit! :)

Annnnd her cute new hat! (Styles by B)

Itchy Itch - Scratchy Scratchy

I've got a sore throat. Ick! I feel as though I better get better real quick...I haven't been sick since before I was pregnant (like virus sick, not 'I don't feel good' sick). So I am not used to being sick, ergo, I am going to be a big baby about it. I just know it. DH was kind enough to bring me some AirBorne and OJ this morning and take Bean so I could sleep. Well, obviously I am not sleeping. But I did drink my OJ :) I have a friend's bachelorette party today, followed by a BBQ, with Easter tomorrow. Yikes, busy weekend. I should be sleeping and resting all weekend, but I couldn't possibly miss out on all the festivities!

Also, I want to go shopping. I don't need anything really (besides a whole new wardrobe that I actually FIT in!), but I just want to shop to shop. One of the many things DH loves about me...NOT.

I've got some new gDiapers coming in the mail! YAYAYAYAY!!! I bought 5 Mediums (2 blue, 2 purple, 1 green) since Little Bean has almost outgrown her size small. Sad. I don't want her to keep growing. It is all happening too fast.

And another thing - I need to clean and do laundry. I usually do this throughout the week, here and there, but I don't usually get all that much done because I am holding the baby all day. The weekend is usually when I get caught up. I just won't have the time this weekend. Which reminds me, I need to get up and make a pasta salad for the BBQ tonight. And a salad for Easter tomorrow. And I need to drop off some Mary Kay stuff. Ugh! I have a lot to do....But I don't FEEL GOOD :( Boo. And DH is going shooting with the guys soon, which means I'll have to do all this stuff with Bean in one arm.

Wow, this post is random. Maybe I am delusional?

Anyways... back to the randomness. I am pretty sure I have "mother's wrist." AKA my wrist hurts from holding the baby. It has been sore basically since she was born and I randomly ran across an article about it in Parents magazine. It said I should contact some specialist right away to get some sort of anti-inflammation shot so it doesn't get worse. Well, it went away for a little while and now my wrists hurt again. It even hurts to write. This, I find annoying. But I am not going to go see a specialist to get some sort of shot because my wrists are sore. That seems silly to me.

Ok, enough randomness...Let's see if I have some new pictures to post.




Diva:

Mama's Got a New Pair of Shoes

Remember how Palmer ate my favorite pair of heals? Well, I just got my new replacement shoes in the mail!!!!! I am beyond excited (maybe a little too excited)!

RIP Favorite shoes...



Welcome to your new home, New Favorite shoes!



Since I couldn't find a pair to exactly replace my old pair, I had to get two pairs to fill the hole left in my shoe wardrobe!



And just because... Headband made by "Styled by B"

Already???

She is 2 1/2 months already? How did that happen? She has outgrown several things already :( For some reason, I thought she would fit in NB clothes forever! She does still fit in most of her NB clothes still and we have broken into some 0-3 months and even 3 months clothes! Eeeek! Here are some new pictures!






Her Easter Outfit:



Now I just have to figure out what I'm gonna wear - I'd like it if we could match :)

I Can't Imagine

As I lay here with my baby girl asleep on my chest, with her arms wrapped around me in a big baby hug, cozy in
her blankie, I just can't imagine leaving her...

That's all.

Last Baby Shower

We have been in Illinois all weekend, visiting my extended family. Everyone just loves Lydia and she has been such a good girl!!!

I was really nervous about the 5.5 hour drive here. She hasn't been too fond of the car lately. But Grandma sat in the back with her and she did so so good! She fussed a couple of times, but that was about it. The only problem was, as soon as grandma fell asleep she would wake up ;) Hehe

We went to Madison to visit some friends last night. We ate at the Great Dane - It was sooooo weird being in Madison with a baby! It isn't really a family-friendly city. I felt like we got some weird looks. It was really nice to see our friends though.

The baby shower was today. It was fun to have all my extended family in one place so everyone could meet Lydia. I'm really glad my grandma got to meet Lydia! We got a four generation picture:



And just for kicks, here is her in her party dress :)



As far as getting rid of this extra baby weight, I have not been doing so great this weekend. I knew it was going to be hard. Hopefully it hasn't set me back too much...as I sit here and eat cake! Haha

Lydia got her Rock N' Play sleeper from my aunt Linda - we'll see how she likes it! She seemed to like it last night. She slept in it for about 4.5 hours. Gotta work on getting her to fall asleep in it!

Back to Minnesota tomorrow - I'm hoping Lydia will be as good going home as she was coming here.

Done!

I am so DONE with these dogs!!!

First, Palmer. He is eating EVERYTHING! In the past week has has eaten:
1. My favorite pair of shoes
2. Lydia's Wubbanub (google it) that I just bought on Amazon
3. Lydia's pink and purple Soothies pacifiers that I just bought on Amazon
Not to mention the dozens of other shoes and pacifiers and pillows he has chewed up in the past. I am SOOOOO done with him - I can't emphasize it enough!

Then there is Burton. He is getting more jealous of Lydia by the day. In the past week he has peed on:
1. My tennis shoes after not taking him on a walk with Lydia and I
2. Lydia's blanket
3. My side of the bed when I got up to change Lydia

ARGH!!!! If they keep this up, they are outta here! Especially Palmer.

P.S. Lydia survived her 3 shots today. She screamed but then I gave her a bottle and she was content. She is 23 in long (70th percentile) and 9 lbs 8 oz (15th percentile). Needless to say, we are going to bump up her food intake.

Here's to Honesty

I got weighed again on Monday - I lost 5 pounds in two weeks! I am pretty excited about it, but at the same time, I still have so far to go! I can get really discouraged sometimes. I look at my post-pregnancy body and think it will never look good again. Argh! I just need to look at my little girl and know it is worth it. I just wish I looked "normal" again.

I've got to get back on track tomorrow. I didn't work out today, I had Dairy Queen for lunch and cookies later today. Eeeek! To make matters worse, we are traveling to IL from MN this weekend, which generally means fast food. I'd like to lose an average of 5 lbs every two weeks, but fast food is not going to get me there. Maybe I can convince DH to stop at Subway instead :)

Ok, I promised myself I would be completely open and honest on this blog, otherwise, what's the point? And I know this comes with a plethora of "I told you so's" and "I knew that would happen," but in the end, that doesn't matter. So, here's the deal...I applied for a full time stay-at-home position with an online wedding favor company. I haven't decided yet if I will take it if I am offered the position, but I am seriously considering it. This of course would mean I don't go back to school. At least for now. I never EVER thought I would be in this position. If someone would have told me I would even be considering this at this point, I would have thought they were crazy. The thing is, I just can't imagine leaving my little one. I can't even imagine going back to school in a month and leaving Lydia. I want to raise her and not miss her growing up. I only have 1 year of school left, but she is going to grow SO much in one year. I really don't want to miss it.

With all that said, I have never wanted to do anything but dentistry my whole life. If I finish the program, theoretically that is what I would be doing. I say theoretically because we are the first Dental Therapists in the United States, and who knows if the position will flourish. So there is my dilemma. At this point, I can honestly say I have no idea what I am going to do.

SNEAK PEAK!

We just got a sneak peak from the photo shoot of Miss Lydia! Amazing! I'm so excited to see the rest! I'm hoping to pick up the image CD on Wednesday! Lydia did so amazing! She lasted a whole hour posing for pictures, even smiling with NO crying! I was so proud of her :)

Ok, here they are:








MMM Photography (mmmeyerphotography.tumblr.com)

2 Month Appointment

We have Lydia's 2 month appointment next week. At first I didn't think much about it, but now reading on babycenter.com about how much they scream during (and after) their vaccines, I'm getting a little worried. I'll be taking her on my own, since DH will be at work. I am not going to have them do like all 8(!!!) vaccines at once. That just seems like too much. Since she isn't in daycare, I don't sense any urgency to get all her vaccines done right away. I'm thinking I'll only have them do two at her appointment and then gradually get the rest done.

I wonder how much she weighs now. She is definitely getting bigger! I think she might still be on the small side for her age though. Fine by me! I don't want her to get big so fast!

Speaking of her getting big so fast, I have been getting apprehensive about leaving her to go back to school. Maybe apprehensive isn't the right word. I know she will be in great hands (DH's mom and SIL's friend) but I am starting to realize I really don't want to leave her. I knew it would be hard, but I never thought I would want to stay home. I have been saying since day 1 that I could never be a stay-at-home mom. I am beginning to sing a different tune. Funny how things change.

I'd post new pics, but I don't have any :-\ I'll post some pics from her BABY PICTURES today!

Good Day!

Lydia has been such a good girl today! I just LOVE spending time with her! We went to lunch with a friend for 3 HOURS and she did so good! Not even a full cry the whole time. She napped for a bit, ate a bit and just sat and looked around. She has been amazing! The same thing happened when we met a friend for coffee on Monday. She is even laying by herself, content, right now while I type this. These things would have NEVER happened a couple weeks ago!

We have her baby pictures coming up this Saturday - I can't wait. I just have no idea what clothes to bring for her!?!?! I am going to bring a bunch of hair accessories (of course) and a few pairs of shoes. I like the idea of a blue and white theme. Mike and I did that for our engagement pictures and I loved it! I'll have to figure it out... Suggestions anyone?

Next weekend is our baby shower in Illinois with the extended family. The trips should be quite interesting...I'm hoping for the best. If she has a bad day, it's going to make for a really looooong 6 hour drive. I'm having DH come with me. I don't think I'd survive the whole weekend without him!